The days are kind of blending into each other at the moment, as I’m on summer break until the end of August. Most of my days have been about training and staying consistent. My original plan was to take summer courses in business economics – something completely different from the psychology program – just to broaden my knowledge a bit.
But I completely overestimated my energy. I’d just finished my full-time internship at an addiction center last term (I had a horrible experience with the mentor I was first assigned – I’ll come back to that in another post). Even before the internship started in February, I’d crawled my way through one of the biggest courses in Psychodynamic and CBT therapy, with a massive hall exam that drained what was left of my mental battery.
On top of that, I work extra alongside my studies – partly because I like staying busy, but also because I’m on a never-ending quest to have “the world’s most crowded CV.” And even as I write this, I catch myself trying to justify to myself that I’m doing enough. It’s a recurring theme for me – this low-key fear that I’m not doing enough or being “successful.” (Still not sure who gets to define success, but if you meet them, please ask them to email me.)
This summer has been different – a bit of a game changer for me. I haven’t spiraled into an identity crisis just because I’ve had more free time. Instead, I’ve actually enjoyed slowing down, not having every hour planned out, and feeling a deep sense of calm inside. It’s been a big growth moment – realizing I can just be without constantly chasing the next thing. I’ve proved to myself that I don’t need constant busyness to feel grounded, and by having such a positive experience, I’ve redefined my own patterns.
And in between workouts, family time, and working on this blog, I’ve been reading a lot of fiction. One of them is The Shards by Bret Easton Ellis – absolutely loved it. Reading is one of my favorite ways to spend my free time, which is exactly why there’s a “Books” section in the menu. It’s where I’ll share what I’m reading, what I think (I would love to hear your thoughts too), and maybe help you discover your next favorite book too.
Right now, I’m at my family’s country house until the end of the month – recharging, spending time with my nephew (he’s two, growing way too fast, and recently left here saying “Byeee guysss” 🥹), and enjoying the kind of quiet you can’t really find in the city.
So that’s life lately – a mix of recharging, blogging, training, reading, and overthinking whether I’m “doing enough.” If I come back in September with glowing skin, a stronger squat, three new blog posts, and a stack of finished books, we’ll call it a win. If not, I’ll just say it was all part of my “restorative mindset strategy” and hope you believe me.
